You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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