Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
