therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
