Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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