he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
