she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
