literally had 100 drinks last night.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
