my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I look better un-naked...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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