i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I am available for nakedness
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
