Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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