if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize