im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
