I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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