it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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