I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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