Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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