How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if only i could text you this smell
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
