what day is it and did you see me today?
In America we eat man semen.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
