He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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