You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
