I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
