She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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