Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
