and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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