I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
