the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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