One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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