when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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