Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
