the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I need to sanitize my soul.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
