He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
