i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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