I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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