Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
