Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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