I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
