My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
