i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
