My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
