You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
a search helicopter?!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
