This is not my ceiling
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize