its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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