That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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