i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
