i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Never underestimate the power of titties
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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