I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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