Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
