I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
