real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just had sex bonerless
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
