His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
