My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
