Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
