There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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