My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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