People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
