remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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