I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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