it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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